Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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