i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
