remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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