I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
