You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
