I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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