As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize