I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
