Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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