Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
