a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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