Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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