you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
