No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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