My brain says no but my pants say off.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
