I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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