do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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