S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
