Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
