I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
