i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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