Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize