Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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