can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
