I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
