I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
