I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
