So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
