i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
