He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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