I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
