He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
