why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
