i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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