He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
