i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
