David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
