My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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