thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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