So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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