I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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