I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize