can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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