Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
