What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
