no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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