She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize