That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
