Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
