Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
