sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
