There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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