Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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