Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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