a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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