Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
