So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
