why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
